January 1, 2016
According to Forbes Magazine, only 8% of New Year’s resolutions are kept by those who make them. We know what we want to do but, for various reasons, don’t.
No one knows resolutions like someone with ADHD. In The Adult ADHD Toolkit: Using CBT to Facilitate Coping Inside and Out, J. Russell Ramsay describes the performance challenge associated with ADHD not a problem of knowing what to do, but rather being able to do reliably what you set out to do.
If you’ve made and broken New Year’s resolutions you’re familiar with guilt: unkind thoughts about yourself which take center stage. Soon, however, new successes offset New Year’s resolution flops and negative thoughts retreat. If you suffer with untreated ADHD, resolutions are made and broken all year long, sometimes daily. Shame can be a lifelong state of mind.
Posting successes and strengths on your mental Ledger can counter shame and promote additional success, which compounds like bank interest. Understanding how we’ve successfully used our strengths in the past helps us navigate future challenges.
This week, we’ll see many tips for keeping New Year’s resolutions. Here’s a good start:
- Limit goals to three and break them down into manageable steps
- Choose strategies that fit your unique strengths and challenges
- Find a partner with whom you can share your goals, strategies, and progress
- Forgive yourself for failed attempts before starting over.
These are all elements of coaching. An ADHD coach is a trusted partner who understands ADHD. She is in your corner, respectfully supporting and rooting for you, while you drive in the direction you choose to go.
Coaching is not a one size fits all proposition. It’s important to find a coach with whom you can be honest, and trust to be honest with you. She is someone who enables you to look at your weaknesses and failures with curiosity, even humor, so you can move forward without shame.
Best wishes for a Happy New Year!